Where did I find this? Did this come from someone's blog? If so, thanks for letting me copy - we laughed out loud at some of these.

Wisdom of Larry the cable guy.

**Wisdom of Larry the cable guy.
**1. A day without sunshine is like night.
**2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
**3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
**4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
**5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
**6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
**7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
**8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
**9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
**10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
**11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
**12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
**13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
**14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
**15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
**16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
**17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
**18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
**19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
**20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
**21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck happened?"
**22. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.*